


1349 MILES

by sweetspicyhot



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 03:36:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1883841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetspicyhot/pseuds/sweetspicyhot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared didn’t know how much he was holding in his sadness until he heard Jensen singing at a bar on a Friday night.</p><p>For the SPN Meant to Be Challenge:</p>
            </blockquote>





	1349 MILES

1349 miles

Jared swirled the drink in his hand. Maybe coming out tonight had been a mistake. All he wanted was to be back with the one person who needed him, the only family he had left. He laughed to himself. He hadn’t been out in six months; if he’d stayed in tonight even he would have considered himself a coward. And he had no reason to be so solitary. His best friend had practically dragged him out to the large, overly crowded bar.

“Jason Manns is playing. I know you love his music,” Genevieve had singsonged. “And I have a surprise for you. Don’t worry. Samantha will watch Jenna—you know nothing will happen to her.”

“I know. It’s just the first time I’m leaving her alone since . . .” he trailed off.

“Jared, it’s your first night off in forever; you have to have a little fun sometimes.”

“I have fun,” Jared said defensively.

“Without baby rhymes and bubbles,” she joked.

“Hey, don’t knock bubbles, bubbles are great,” he said as he smiled sheepishly.

He had enjoyed the music and the company, but he still felt like something was missing. He had remained true to his word. He had only called to check one time, and everything was fine with the sitter. He was the one who wasn’t okay. He was the one who could only think of the person whose welfare he had been entrusted with six months ago—his niece, Jenna. She was a handful, but she was so beautiful. He had no doubt that she would grow to be a beautiful woman like his sister, her mama. She had already won his heart with her tiny fists, powerful robust cries, and her eyes that always seemed to be set with a fierce determination. He knew she was only a baby, but he also knew spirit when he saw it. She wasn’t even supposed to survive a month, that’s what the stupid doctors had told him, but they had done such a bang up job of saving his sister, so he didn’t listen to them too much. Jenna Carlson Padalecki had survived her first month and five more so far; she possessed the strength of ten babies. A lot of people, talkers in town, thought that Jared was too young at twenty-five to be saddled with the responsibility of raising a baby by himself. But Jared knew that he was the lucky one. He just wished it been under different circumstances. His eyes blinked back tears as he thought of his sister and her dying wish, “Take care of her Jare, please, for me.”

Jason Manns finished up the last song and the bartender casually started last call, refilling everyone’s drinks including Jared’s whiskey. Jason seemed ready to leave the stage, but he went up to the mike one more time and said, 

“I’d like you to welcome a friend of mine for the last song to close us out—Jensen Ackles.”

“Holy shit, is that the Jensen Ackles?” Jared turned toward Genevieve. “I thought he had disappeared for good.”

“Well, he’s resurfaced now,” Genevieve said. “Quit the rodeo and joined Jason’s tour. He’s been singing this song to end the night at every stop. I had to come see it in person.” Genevieve grinned. “He’s so gorgeous. I know you followed him for a while when he was a bull rider.”

“Well, I am surprised. I didn’t know he could sing,” Jared admitted.

When Jensen had been part of the rodeo circuit, he was larger than life. He was charismatic, stunning to look at and a hell of a bull rider. This Jensen Ackles seemed diminished somehow. He walked up to the stage slowly, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He carried with him a simple acoustic guitar. Jason was changing guitars as well, as he slid his chair back a little. Clearly, he would not be the main performer on this song. Jared looked at Jensen, taking in the former rodeo champion’s features, which was a little difficult given that Jensen was currently looking at the floor. Jared had fantasized about the man enough during his late teen years. Jensen had been a young legend on the rodeo circuit then, winning the Pro Bull Riding Championship twice before retiring two and a half years ago after the death of his riding partner Tommy Welling. The circumstances surrounding the death were mysterious. Thomas Welling had died in a car accident, that was certain. Jensen Ackles had not been in the car but rumors were that he had removed the body from the wreck before the police arrived and had taken Tommy back to his hotel room—where he had barricaded himself in—impeding the police investigation for a while until they had busted down the door. The bizarre incident had been plastered over all national media outlets and Jensen had disappeared once it was clear that the police and the family were not interested in pressing charges. He did not attend the funeral.

To see Jensen pop up in Texas was surprising to say the least, and so close to San Antonio where the accident had occurred. Jared finished his drink in one go, and leaned forward, eager to hear his former hero sing. 

Jensen looked over at Jason and the band to make sure that everything was ready. Then he adjusted his mike and spoke.

“This one’s for Tommy.”

At first Jared couldn’t quite place the melody. Later on he would realize the reason, because previously he had always heard this song sung by a woman—Emmylou Harris. This song was one of his mama’s favorites and as Jensen sang, Jared found himself transfixed by the simple beauty of the lyrics and the emotion pouring through Jensen’s voice. 

_I don’t want to hear a love song._  
_I got on this airplane just to fly._  
_And I know there’s life below me_  
_But all that it can show me_  
_Is the prairie and the sky._

Jensen’s voice rang out gentle and true and filled the room with a sort of beautiful melancholy that Jared had sensed from the man earlier. Some people in the audience were focused on Jensen and some had their eyes closed and seemed to be savoring the moment, all were lost in the simple sadness of the music. Jared didn’t stand a chance as he felt familiar emotions rise within him. He had held them in for so long, not wanting to burden the people in his life. But as Jensen reached the chorus, something broke inside Jared and he let a few tears fall. 

_I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham_  
_I would hold my life in his saving grace._  
_I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham_  
_If I thought I could see, I could see your face._

Memories of his mama’s last days and his sister’s last moments filled his mind. Jared did not realize how hard he was holding on to the counter until Genevieve whispered helplessly, “Jared are you okay? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. It’s just I knew you liked both these guys. Oh God, I’ve royally fucked up, haven’t I?”

Jared couldn’t answer her, couldn’t even look at her. He felt like he was frozen in time, unable to help those he loved the most from leaving him. Still, Jensen continued singing. And then he got to the verse that just about broke Jared in half.

_Well you really got me this time._  
_And the hardest part is knowing I’ll survive._  
_I’ve come to listen for the sound_  
_Of the trucks as they move down out on ninety-five._

_And pretend that it’s the ocean_  
_Coming down to wash me clean,_  
_To wash me clean_  
_Baby do you know what I mean._

Jared slowly shook his head making his way to the bathroom in the back. The strains of the last chorus echoed behind him as he opened the door. How he wished he could hear one of Jenna’s cries—the proof of life he so desperately craved every day, the proof he was not alone. He sat down on the toilet and sobbed. This time he welcomed the tears freely. He knew Genevieve was still waiting at the bar, concerned about him. But Jared needed this moment. He hadn’t allowed himself this at the funeral and he could never break down in front of his niece. Even though she was just a baby, he felt she could sense negative emotions and that was one reason why he kept things so bottled up inside, to protect her. But today, faced with this singer and this song, he had been defeated. Jared finally collected himself and made his way to the sink to wash his face. Upon looking at his reflection in the mirror, he saw the door open. He turned around, and to his surprise he found himself face-to-face with Jensen Ackles. 

“I’ve sung that song twenty-four times in the last three months. This is the first time someone has had that reaction.”

Jared let out a self-deprecating laugh, “What, you mean a complete breakdown?”

Jensen’s green eyes crinkled and he smiled, “Well, you’re still standing, so not a complete breakdown. But your friend is outside worried. I don’t think she wants to barge in here to bother you about it, though.”

“Yeah, so she sent you in?” Jared said skeptically. 

At this Jensen’s eyes crinkled again and he flashed a comforting smile. “I feel sort of responsible.”

“Well, you aren’t. Kind of felt good,” Jared confessed haltingly. And then a few fresh tears ran down his face. “Fuck, I must look like a freak.”

“Who was it? The person you lost—a wife, a girlfriend?” Jensen guessed.

“There is no wife or girlfriend.” 

Jensen nodded. 

“It was my sister,” Jared said as he hung his head. “She would be laughing at me, though, if she saw me crying in front of a stranger in the men’s room of a bar. She’d say, ‘Jared, get a grip. You don’t even know this person.’”

“I’m sorry. When did she pass?” Jensen asked.

“Six months ago. She died giving birth.”

“Did the baby live?”

“Yeah, miraculously.” Jared inhaled sharply. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this.”

“Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than your closest friends,” Jensen admitted. “This stop has been the hardest for me on the tour so far. Do you know who I am?”

“Everyone knows who you are. I can’t believe you came back here.”

“Me neither, but I couldn’t avoid it forever. See, that’s one positive, Jared. You can hide from the world. Everyone knows my business.”

“Well, I always thought there was more to it than what they showed on TV and what appeared in the papers.”

“Yeah, there is, but I . . . shit . . . I should go. They’ll probably leave without me. Thanks for trusting me with a little bit of your story, Jared. I wish I could have helped you more.”

“You already helped more than you know.”

Jensen reached out and placed a hand on Jared’s shoulder. Jared felt the warmth of their connection. Now they were only inches apart. Jared had no reason to feel that this was more than a one-time chance encounter with a former hero. His life was already so complicated; he was just getting by with a new baby and a new job. Common sense told him that he couldn’t afford to get lost in this man’s world or the potential momentary comfort he was offering. Jared took a last look at Jensen’s face; he seemed small and vulnerable. He fought the overwhelming urge to kiss the man. Jared’s face was already swollen with tears—he didn’t want their first kiss to happen when he was such a mess. So he hugged Jensen quickly and walked purposefully out of the room. He didn’t stop until he was safe sitting in the passenger seat of Gen’s car.

“You want to stop anywhere before we go back?” Genevieve asked him.

“Maybe ice cream?”

“The convenience store it is. If I didn’t know that was the first time you let yourself feel something—anything—in the last six months, I would be checking for ovaries.”

“Ha ha.”

“Oh, and this is for you,” she said as she handed him a slip of paper.

On it was Jensen’s number and underneath it said, “1349 miles—one step at a time.”

Jared gave a short nod of acknowledgement to Genevieve, and put it in his shirt pocket, reminding himself that he was going back to his niece—where he belonged. Still, at the very least he felt like someone had understood him, and soon when he was ready—he would call. There was a promise in Jensen’s smile, and for the first time in a long time Jared believed he deserved some happiness.

 

A/N: 1349 miles is the distance between Boulder, Colorado and Birmingham Alabama in the USA.

A/N: The lyrics in the fic are from the song Boulder to Birmingham by Emmylou Harris written about her lover Gram Parsons. I have always loved this song and halfway through planning this fic I knew this was the song Jensen would sing. I tried to find a man singing it and luckily The Fray recorded a duet with Emmylou on their album Scars & Stories in 2012.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N Beta credit to Sarahgoldenfish.


End file.
